Monday, 28 April 2014

Autism Acceptance Month and #HAWMC day 28 **ALMOST DONE! :D **

Dear 16-year-old-me. Write a letter to yourself at age 16. What would you
tell yourself? What would you make your younger self aware of?

Dear 16 year old me, When you're still known as Mallory-ann, goodness that's so awkward to say now!

Since we think about this kind of stuff a lot , this likely won't be as much of a surprise as other people think, I'm writing to you in our 29th year, so , now you know you make it this far relatively unscathed!
Its an improvement from what we thought right?
I want to tell you, that things are going to get really rough for a while, and its going to suck, its going to be tough and really heart hurty. Your family is going through a lot right now, and you feel stuck and lost at the same time. I hear you, I remember that, and I'm sending you love and juju from the future and love and juju from all the friends and new family that you have now. You have LOTS of people who love you, for EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE! Not who you think you need to be to fit in.
Things get so SO much better, you won't even believe it when you look back, when you're me :)
You haven't started school in the country yet, I want to tell you 10 things that will help make highschool a little less miserable for you.

1. You're going to meet a boy there, he will break your heart, repeatedly .
You are kind, stubborn, naive and no matter what I tell you, it will still happen. Its ok. 

2. Stop wearing overalls and find some good flare leg, lowrise jeans, band tees and hoodies. Also soft hippie clothing. You will be SO much more comfortable , listen to what your body is screaming, wear what is comfortable FOR YOU.

3. Go ahead and wear your trench coat and all the dark colors you want, wear eyeliner, just give it a pop of color with jewlery so that your principal doesn't bring you in for questioning about weather you're carrying weapons. **She IS as stupid as you think, and WILL follow you around the school because she beleives you're going to hell because you're a witch.. an assumption, but she's right.... go ahead and make the devil horns \m/ in her direction! It will make her back off a little, and the reaction is kinda funny **

It will hurt your hand, but feel so good, and NOone bullies you at school after that, now you have a reputation of being a witch AND breaking people's noses, you're kinda badass :)

5.You ARE going through some A-typical issues. You ARE different, you DO see the world differently,  and no matter what anyone says you are NOT just going through a phase and its NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
When your baby brother is born in another couple months, you'll notice a lot of the same differences in him. 
Just know, that all the CRAP you're going to go through in the next couple years, its going to be ok. You are going to be ok, you make it.

6. Going to college away from home is frightening , but its the best adventure of your life so far, you find someone that heals your scarred over heart, you find the end of the red thread , I can't remember if you know what that means yet, but some mysteries are so much better when you stumble over them on your own <3

7.Friends , you have a few really good,very nice friends, some of them have issues as deep as yours, just be careful ok? There will be many who leave your life, some with words some without, and there will be some who stay in your life like deep rooted dandylions X) 

8. Learn the word NO. Learn it well, in many forms and to apply it with strength. You can, you will, and you will be so much the better for it.

9.Don't let ANYONE (even yourself) drag you down the rabbit hole, kick , scream and eyegouge anyone who tries to take you there WITH them, no matter how short they promise the visit to be, they don't climb out, YOU DO.

10. I know you don't right now, but learn to LOVE YOURSELF. Because you are worthy , you are worthy of friendship, respect and space , you are worth time and you are worthy of love. You are enough, no matter what anyone expects of you , you become who you are meant to be, you become so much more than you feel at the moment. You are beautiful, no matter how dull your shine at the moment you are made of stardust and you SHINE BRILLIANTLY. It just takes you time to recognize that in yourself, and to find others who sparkle just as fiercely.

You are a good person and not half as dark as you think you need to be.
 Try to be happy and keep on drawing, I am a terrific artist, that means you are too! Be proud of yourself !
 Even if you don't love yourself right now, know that I LOVE YOU, I'm proud of you :)
Alright, thats it for now, see you in the mirror , ok?


Love and a Spoon
*you'll find out what that means later, it will bring many positive changes, trust me :) *

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